Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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