Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
