I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
