I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
