the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
