hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
