Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
