I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
