glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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