its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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