ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
