Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
