hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
