Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Are my feet made of real feet?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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