She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
