I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
