yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
