We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
