ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
