I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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