We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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