I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
