do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
