Only a mothe r could love this liver
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is this the sara with the beer cane?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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