You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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