it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
