I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
where are my eyebrows?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
