Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
