He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
