We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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