Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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