who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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