Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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