just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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