I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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