He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
