shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
