went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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