you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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