Cold hands, warm shart.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
