Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
