You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
