I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
