shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
