While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
