Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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