I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
