Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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