drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
