You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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