she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
