I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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