How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
